Is it a happy place to be?

"I understand that you were done
In all of these dramas,
Like what I always catalyze you
From that day you admitted that
There are colder shoulders than I used to feel on
I understand
If I have your eyes
I will do the same
I will consistently tell this person, I'm done

I will be there too
Speak without thinking twice
Consider what I feel is always valid
Inhale this own breath again
To tell our story without crying
Have a coffee without seeing you stirring around
Unintentionally forget the headdress you put on me
And not wanting everything to be written

I will be there too."

–Jhunamae Moja (Is it a happy place to be?, smnllyl)

Journal Date: 02.24.2021

All my fault

 

"Maybe, my fault as I laid my happiness on your hands. It was my fault to let half of my mornings be wasted by thinking of you. It was my fault that I still read you while you were the naked book behind the vintage shelf in my gigantic library. It was my fault when I still opened the door while you brought your suitcase of insecurities. It was my fault for having sleepless nights writing about you until my morning alarm clock rang. It was my fault when I said another hello while you were treating me as a broken bone that years to heal. It was my fault for saying goodbye when I know that I never leave. It was my fault that I don't know how to leave. It was all my fault."

 —Jhunamae Moja (all my fault, smnllyl)

Journal Date: 02.14.2021