Thoughts

"Years ago,

it's just the moon, stars, and rain that sit with me in between my thoughts of you. 

It's just about when talking to you again would be something like I could plant myself outside your place, join you on a game, or ask you to go anywhere in the world.

But today, 

It's just about feeling irrational envy of my thoughts.

Where I just hope there's a day in a week when I can just sit around and indulge my every thought of you. 

When you just live from the corner of my phone, occupies a little in the world— but a thought of a man I bring to bed.

It's just about you, that I forget everything I need throughout the day, that I might forget the world still works, and I hate how you're becoming my angular momentum. 

And today,

It's just about riding a train going home and wishing you good night upon passing your street.

It's just about slipping everything into the beauty of nowhere.

This time,

It's just about swearing I'll love you right with unsure words in between the tip of my fingers."

 
—Jhunamae Moja(smnllyl, thoughts)
JD: 09.20.23

The human eggs

"As a numbersmith, I forecasted how we will spend our days together— late morning with lunch of cereals and pancakes for dinner. End of the day."

—Jhunamae Moja (Smnllyl, the human eggs)

Journal Date: 9.13.23

I don't know

"Looking back is one of the terrible things that we could ever talk about, or I may dig up. But this feeling might haunt me to my deepest sleep later at night. I don't know. I'm talking to you with a bridge in between but it feels like I'm still stepping into the air. I don't know."

Jhunamae Moja(Smnllyl, snap)

Journal Date: 10.11.23

Weird

"I'm  writing the ending of this imagination that used to cry in every page between my doubts of bringing it to life. I do this all the time, hardly knowing the results ahead of time as a way to shield my heart. 

But now, with this, I want to see how beautiful it is to remain open. To see the strings again, knot it again from our ends, and look for the beauty of risks if we ever cross the line again. And how I hope one day we could finally write on the same book, same page—with same thoughts."

–Jhunamae Moja (Smnllyl, weird)

Journal Date: 09.10.23