Did you just walk me to the bus stop and tell me "It's good to see each other after a fight."? Where I know in myself that it did not change any of my thoughts because I still feel this void in my chest.
Did you just leave me sitting on the bus with a puzzled heart? Coz you rushed to leave and forgot to kiss me or tell me good night or even goodbye. Without knowing, maybe that would be the last time you see me before you leave the town.
Did I just pray to feel that you still cherish the moments I am with you? Prayed that you still feel excited to see me. Prayed that I would only and still listen to the moments you consistently say it — that you love me even though you stopped saying it. Yes, I did.
I bet you are still awake thinking about where we went wrong again. Browsing games you could play to forget us somehow.
I bet I will have to go back to the reason why I made this love to live in reality again. Because you're simply fading the words you used to tell me. And I am the one who only and always restores it. I bet it will take time for me to used to it.
I bet in the end, I will still love you. Because I always do. Always."
—Jhunamae Moja (Smnllyl, I always do)
Journal Date: 01.29.24
