"You don't have to fight for me— not with the word "anymore" because you never did. You don't have to fight for me— when in the first place your rival was just your ego. You don't have to fight for me because I knew you as someone who feels upset when your friends just tease you. I knew you as someone with a resting love on your hands only for your mom. I knew you as someone with your heart anchored in the ocean. I knew you as someone with superhero-like responsibilities. I knew you as someone who never protects my name. I knew you as someone who made me think that I am not enough. I knew you as someone who comes back without saying "hello" and disappears without saying "goodbye". I knew you as someone with shallow happiness about us. I knew you as cowardly as your weakest bone enveloped by 3 AM's wind blows.
More of that, you don't have to fight for me, I just wish you know that you are still someone I look up to. You are still my source of silly jokes. You are still someone I highly respect even if you want to feel like a baby boy of your mom forever. You are still the bravest sailor I have ever known. You are still my favorite person who calls my real name. You are still enough in return. You are still the reason for me to leave my shoes on the seaside for you to know where I last stepped while waiting for you. You are still the happiest reason for me to wake up even though we don't see each other in the morning. You are still the best coward man I think of at 3 AM.
You are still that brand even though I knew you like someone telling himself not to fight anymore when he only risk nothing. "
—Jhunamae Moja (nothing, smnllyl)
Journal Date: 04.09.2021
