Oct 21, 2022

You Always Own It



"Here's the part for you, always been the same
Never been whole, never been claimed
You always own it
You always deny it

Always been shouting your name
Sneaking on its window pane
There were days it crawls back
To where it always belongs from
This bear in me calms when I say so
Think of you only to shut its claws

It roars at dusk
Memorized my hands on your lap
Your jacket smelled of chocolate perfume
The day we breathe in the same room

Here's the part for you, since I was sixteen
Never been haunted, never been needed
You always own it
You always deny it

Always searching for a second chance
When you have already gone
Or searching for closure
As a turmoil without any cure
Whatever is not meant for me
When there's nothing any
Turned like a void in my chest 
From the broken road between our fate

Will it be permanent?
Wanted to cross without looking back when I can't
A night with tears made scattered lights to the city
Felt like spinning and don’t find my center of gravity

Here's the part for you, haunted by your ghost
Left long-lasting footprints on my roads
You always own it
You always deny it

Always owned by you
Started with pink that turned into blue 
A gem that rests in the first corner of my heart
The faults on it turned into poems and arts
Not only when things go south
Because this is so much to talk about

This part of me to where I buried
The memories of you that ended their limit
You always own it.
Even if you never wanted it."


—Jhunamae Moja (you always own it, smnllyl)

Journal Date: 10.21.22

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