"I've been waiting for this day, for another dramatic poem to write and I know that's how you'll see this. Dramatic. It's been my tradition every year. But I ended up airheaded these days. And I know it sounds stupid, but I do— I don't feel sorry for doing this.
For this year, maybe I will just have an earworm discussion. Have you heard Charlie Puth's song about how unsure people should know about love? And I've been listening to it for months, the "That's Not How It Works".
For years, I'd never imagined that that's how you see love works. You could hurt someone to get someone then if they hurt you, you'll come back to someone you hurt as if nothing happened. But that's not how it works.
For years, I've been waiting to hear your apology and ask me if we can make it again. Then you came back with your fleet of lovely storms for me. You were prepared with your bombarding stories. Knowing "SHE hurt you when you hurt me, and you came back the time I already have someone I was sailing with for months". I always knew that it would hurt if you mess with me again. I knew I would never let you ruin me again. But you made it the other way around. You ruined me through your words to him. You ruined me by describing how I've been crazy about you for the past years. You ruined me believing that you will never ruin me the same trick around. You made it.
For years, we both know that we wrecked each other. Because the way you see love works is tragic. You never loved me. And you probably know your lesson now. That's not how it works."
–Jhunamae Moja(Smnllyl, TNHIW)
Journal Date: 08.27.23 HBD
